For as long as I can remember, I have noticed the gender pronoun gap in textbooks. The conspicuous manner in which “he, his” always took prominence over “she, her” irked me to no end. The default pronoun, as formerly taught in high school English classes, was for a long time the male one. When gender isn’t known, when the pronoun stands in for either gender, when the pronoun just means one or a person, he was traditionally the pronoun used. To some, it would make sense as women were “allowed” the most basic rights such as education only very recently. So, why pretend to include the pronoun befitting to them in textbooks, when it’ll only be read out in classrooms filled with him and his? In fact, some would also argue that why am I fixated with a missing pronoun when there’s really so much more the female population, as a whole, has to endure on a routinely basis. Violence, rape, unequal pay, the list really is endless. But I feel the roots of it somewhere begins here, in this lost pronoun. In textbooks taught in schools, where this small subtlety continues to drive home the thought that women don’t really matter as much as men.
After years of accepting their social status as that of second class citizens, I wonder how many women would have even noticed the phenomenon of the lost pronoun in textbooks. The social conditioning is done in such an impeccable manner, that it takes years of conscious thinking to see what the norm is, may not be right after all. For instance, if we encounter a social situation wherein the male members of the house are doing the household work such as doing the dishes, setting up the table, cooking etc while the female members are entertaining guests over drinks — would we be comfortable? At least not as comfortable as we would be if the roles were reversed, because the latter scenario is known to us, it’s familiar; we have lived it for years and years. We have lived it, without ever questioning it. So, the next time someone says that the inequality between the genders only exists in your head, or that it’s a thing of the bygone era; look no far than your own homes to stress upon how it’s still very much prevalent.
Feminism isn’t that complicated or radical. Most people like feminism once they give it a chance. For starters, let’s agree that men can buy their own groceries. Cook their own meals. Do their own laundry. And even clean up after themselves. At least half of men know how to use a vacuum cleaner. So while we can call these behaviors feminist, it really just comes down to self-sufficiency. Your gender should not define your responsibilities in the society. Period. No matter how much the society lures you into thinking that you’ll win the race if being a woman, you juggle a full time career, manage your home, take care of your kids (and your husband, who in some cases are just overgrown kids themselves) — don’t buy into it. There is no race. There is no need to be a superwoman, supermom, super anything. It’s enough to be just a woman, it’s enough to be just you. These superlatives are just a facade to have people conform to the norms, or else the society as we know it, will come down crumbling.
Writing this today takes me back to the examination hall of my school days, wherein no matter how close it used to be for the final bell, signifying the end of the exam — I would always ensure writing “his/her”, “he/she” in my answer sheets, wherever applicable. And writing that, including the lost pronoun of her & she, felt like a silent rebellion for my self — and for the ones who will come after me.
